People are Catalysts

Certain people come into your life to serve a purpose; to teach you a lesson or open up a window of opportunity for you. While this may sound a bit obvious, this concept hasn’t really resonated with me until recently. I’ve been undergoing a series of revelations and enlightenments over the past few months, and this has been one of the things that have really surfaced to reality for me.

All those cliché phrases that your Aunt Debbie tells you all the time are so incredibly easy to overlook and dismiss as passé statements. While these words have become devaluated, they still remain to be universal life-lessons that really should be taken into account regardless of the number of times you’ve heard them. And I’m not talking about as captions for your generic, overly-edited pictures on Facebook in which you are throwing up “DEUCES” for. You never realize how genuinely true these statements are until you find yourself in a situation in which they apply to. Maybe your Aunt Debbie wasn’t so crazy after all.

I’ve also learned not to let things such as time boundaries or physical distances impede me from pursuing a friendship because those things simply do not matter as much as they seem. A friendship is never a waste of time regardless if it results in a life-long bond or merely a short passing-by that lasts only a few weeks.

I’m a huge psych nerd, and I make lots of references to concepts I learn in my curriculum as well as articles and publications I read online (just a forewarning). This past semester I took a course called “Group Behavior.” When I signed up for it, I didn’t really know what to expect, but after reading the course description I was very intrigued and knew I wanted to sign up for it. The basis of the course involved getting into [assigned] groups that met every Thursday for a set period of time. Every week we switched from the role of the “working group” to the “observational group” and vice versa. Our task was to “study ourselves,” whatever that meant. It was up to us to decide what direction to lead our group in, and what would ultimately result. There were two group facilitators, however, they were not allowed to say much and could only speak with the occasional, disjointed interjection. They constantly told us that we needed to “do work,” and would give us feedback when our group was successfully completing the “work.” This initially caused confusion and lots of uncomfortable silences, and for a while we stressed over figuring out exactly what this “work” was. In due time we learned to let go of this frustration, and became friends while discovering ourselves in the meanwhile. Overall, it was extremely interesting to watch the groups evolve and see roles come into play.

In a recent session, a member of the group I was observing called another member “Eric the Catalyst”. This really struck a chord.

Eric is a kid who dresses in all black, and wears a leather newsboy cap every day. Seldom does he speak, unless he really feels it is truly necessary. I mean, who needs idle chit-chat anyway? He could be shy, or maybe he just does not give a crap about the class. You know those kids, the ones who sit there staring out the window daydreaming about the sandwich they are going to eat for lunch or what they are going to do this upcoming weekend. Who knows. Whatever the case, this caused a tremendous level of stress for the rest of the group as they could not seem to figure him out. He became somewhat of a subject of interest for the other members, as they focused all their attention on him. They poked and prodded, yet no matter how hard they try to get to him, that wall of concealment could not be torn down.

Because the group did not know how to perceive him, they resorted to ostracizing him and scapegoating him. Mild jokes and taunts would be tossed around nonchalantly, and while this did not affect him (as he admitted), the rest of the group continued to tease him. While superficially it seemed as though Eric was the weakest link and was falling through the cracks of the group, in reality, he had the upper-hand.  The other members were revolving all of their attention around him because they did not know how to interpret him. By mocking him, they were directly projecting their own insecurities within the group. Despite the fact that he did not contribute to the group by speaking, he fulfilled his role as the quiet-observer. He was the spine for the group, and created a foundation in which work could be executed upon.

Eric is reserved. He is a mystery. He provides a crucial resource in which the group can build upon, regardless of the fact that he does not add much to the actual discussion. The other members strived to unlock him; what they did not realize was that he was the key to their own behaviors.

He is a catalyst.

You may say that I’m taking the context of the course material way too seriously, but by participating in this activity I have been able to apply these observations to my everyday life. I’ve realized that certain people have guided me to where I am now. Whether they realize this or not, I am truly grateful to have them in my life, as well as having the ability to absorb what they offer.

A particular quotation I really like is from the novel Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. While the storyline was difficult to follow and written in a bizarre and complicated manner, this quotation really stood out to me. It was also probably the most remarkable thing I could walk away with after reading this book. It goes as follows:

“So many people enter and leave your life. Hundreds of thousands of people. You have to keep the door open so they can come in. But it also means you have to let them go.”

These acquaintances and friends will surely come and go, as many of them are purely circumstantial and caused by mere convenience. This is simply an inevitable part of life. However, rather than dwelling over the loss of a friendship, I have taught myself how to appreciate it for its impact upon me (SHUT UP, AUNT DEBBIE).

Really though.

Every single person you encounter will give you just enough information and influence in which you can learn from and evolve upon.

Thank you to all my catalysts for making me who I am.

Couches

Let me start off by saying that I LOVE couches. They are one of the greatest things in life. Not only are they great, but they are also glorious. What's better than an object devoted entirely to lounging and hanging out? Now of course I may sound a bit hedonistic here, but come on, it's hard to play devil's advocate in this particular circumstance.

Couches are incredibly versatile. They come in so many variations:

Big couches

Small couches

Colorful couches

Modern couches

 

Fancy couches

Scary couches

Hairy couches

Ugly couches

As you can see, there are many types of couches that will cater to anyone's tastes. 

 

Not only can you hang out on them, but you can also eat on them, study on them, sleep on them, argue about politics on them, browse through your brother-in-law's embarrassing photos from 1998 on them, formulate groundbreaking hypotheses on them, shop for new couches via Amazon on them, and so forth. 

The act of relaxing on a couch is worthy of its own term. Couch (v): to chill on a couch. Miriam-Webster, how do you feel about that? I smell "newest addition."

Couches are badass enough to be a band name. 

Dude 1: Yo you seeing Couches later?

Dude 2: Yeah man!

Dude 1: Sweet.

I mean, there was a even a fucking T.V. SHOW devoted to them. Don't even try and pretend you didn't watch The Big Comfy Couch when you were little, at least once.

But seriously, who DOESN'T love couches? Except this guy:

 

Nevertheless, this is an extremely rare occurrence.

So as you can see, couches are completely awesome. Thank you inventor of couches, you are/were a genius. All hail couches. Couches 4evr <3

The end.

Why I hate Forever 21. But love other stores

Well for my first post, I decided to write about retail marketing. I find it incredibly fascinating, and you never really pay attention to the extreme detailing that goes into the design and setup of the store, unless you know what to look out for.
First of all, let me start off by saying that while I don't consider myself much of a girly-girl in the slightest, clothing and shoes are definitely a weakness of mine. Having great style is key to expressing yourself (duh) but it also allows you to feel great and confident. Who wants to roll out of bed and go to class/work/whatever wearing sweats and feel lousy? I mean of course if you like wearing sweats, that's your own choice and I respect that. BUT, putting some effort into your appearance will go a long way because if you look good you feel good. And if you feel good you'll act good ("well" for all you grammar-nazis out there). Good.
Anyway, shopping is the worst though. You know why? You have to go out of your way to weave in and out of millions of stores, desperately searching for things that are 1. of a decent price, 2. in a color you like, and 3. in a cut that flatters you. That's if the store even has your size in stock. Which 80% of the time they don't. OR, you'll see a mannequin, and think to yourself, "Man, that shirt looks great." You go to try it on, and quickly discover that it makes you look like a human lampshade. You take it off, struggle to put it back on the hanger properly, and leave with the disappointment of walking out empty-handed. You'll just have to come back at a later time to see if the item you want has arrived, or if a better-fitting item comes out. Cue repetition of cycle. There's always online-shopping, but then you have to deal with the excess costs of shipping and handling, as well of the risks of the items not fitting properly. NOT SOMETHING ANYONE WANTS TO GO THROUGH.
So, besides knowing what you're looking for, you have to know where to find it. Every store has its target market, and will cater to a specific gender and age group. Of course everyone will go through phases, and like many other people, you will most likely jump from store to store and call each one your "favorite" at some point. We all do it. 
One store that I have always had a love-hate relationship with is Forever 21. A vast wonderland of trendy, affordable clothes. As you enter the store, you are greeted with sales representatives as well as an endless sea of clothes to browse through. It all seems perfect at first. But it's not. Upon entering the store, one will soon become overwhelmed with the disorganization of the products and immensity of choices. Racks and shelves are grouped together in broad categories, such as stripes or floral print. However, several styles are tossed together haphazardly, making it nearly impossible to find two identical items in different sizes. If you ask a sales rep to locate a particular item, they'll tell you "whatever we have out is what is in stock." Useless. This store is poorly designed, simple as that.
Another classic example is Hollister Co. Remember when you were 14 and it was the *coolest* place to buy your clothes? Forget the quality of the clothes and the unbearably high prices, admit it, you liked it at one point. Anyway, the concept of a beach-themed store is cool I guess, but when it is so dim that you frequently bump into displays or knock things over, this supposedly "ambient" atmosphere becomes somewhat of a nuisance. You might as well go into the store wearing a blindfold. The blaring, teenybopper music that is played in the background doesn't help either. It's funny how there are couches in the front of the store for all the parents who would rather not go into the place. It becomes somewhat of a parental haven. All the bored moms and dads can congregate and discuss mom and dadly kinds of things with each other while their kids shop. I guess for the two years (give or take) that this store is the m0s+ aW3s0M3 place to shop, the negative aspects can be overlooked.
Recently, in one of my psych classes, I learned about an interesting experiment in which researchers provided consumers with several flavors of a food (can't remember exactly what it was). With the first experimental group, participants were provided with six flavors to choose from. In the second group, participants were provided with 24 flavors to choose from. At first you might think, "24 flavors?!?! Of course I would prefer that over only having six flavors!" What the researchers found was that a stand with more flavors is more likely to lure consumers into checking out what is available. On the other hand, they also found that the consumers who had less choices were more satisfied in the end. This is fascinating because you'd think that the more options, the better. However, while conducting the study, the researchers found that their subjects were much more overwhelmed, and experienced a higher level of stress while making a decision. This is because since there are so many options, the participant is more inclined to worry whether they are making the right decision or not. Their conclusion was that providing less options will ultimately lead to greater happiness and higher satisfaction.
While this theory may not apply directly to the experience of shopping at Forever 21, its concept is extremely similar. Because there are so many items of clothing to choose from, it's hard to be able to focus on one thing at a time. I constantly find myself developing ADD and skipping sections of the store simply because it's too stressful and not worth searching through racks to find one particular item. Even when I do pick up a few things here or there, almost always I find that when I try them on, I do not like them. All that wasted effort for nothing.
Besides the incredible disorganization of the store, I feel that most of their clothing has become too juvenile for my tastes. They're not even made that well, but you get what you pay for. Of course I will still find a pair of shoes or a dress every once in a while, but on average, the majority of their clothing is simply too trendy and young for me.This may also be due to the fact that I am entering young adulthood, and my tastes change, as do everyone's (as I mentioned previously).
H&M, on the contrary, is a great store to shop in, because they have much more refined selections, at a moderate price. And guess what, you can actually find things! The catch is that not every item is discounted; they get you by displaying extremely inexpensive items alongside more highly-priced ones. However, once in a while they do have great sales. It's also okay to splurge every once in a while, if the item is extremely flattering. Speaking of expensive, online shops such as Modcloth and Tulle and Dorothy Perkins have wonderful clothing, but they are just so pricey that you wonder if it's even worth looking at their selection without feeling sad.
Target is another great store because it has stylish selections at low prices. I know that everyone loves to compare it to Wal-Mart, as it has a similar target consumer market. And while yes, it may have its similarities, there is no question as to which store is better. Target has a much more ambient atmosphere and eye-catching displays. Also, I find their clothing to be incredibly flattering and it is AFFORDABLE. I'm a college student; I have much more important expenses to deal with. I might go into higher-end stores to admire what they have, but not actually buy anything simply because it is not worth it to me. 
Even consignment shops are awesome places to find clothing. One may get put off by the idea of going into a thrift store (as its connotations for being "dirty" or carrying "previously owned" clothing may not appeal to all). But if you go in with an open mind, you will most likely walk out with some great deals.
Clothing is nice. You just need to approach it with the right mindset, and this will greatly enhance your overall experience.
Fin.

Hey guys!

I decided to make a blog. It will consist of the things that come to my mind. Cool.